Tuesday May 8th 1912. One hour’s burial in the poor ground of Glasnevin Cemetery, Dublin.

(Originally published @ Blue Fifth Review)

Carpenter’s child—the child of John and Mary Kenny—Convulsions

Mary tried to drown herself in the Poddle, but was rescued by a passing cyclist

Dairyman’s child—the child of John and Jane Larkin—Measles

John’s tears soured the milk for all of Sheriff Street for a month

Labourer’s child—the child of John and Ellen O’Brien—Scarlatina

Ellen drank rat poison and died in the gutter

Servant’s child—the Illegitimate child of Margaret Maguire—Diarrhoea

Margaret’s employers gave her a shilling extra in her paycheck

Labourer’s child—the child of Edward and Elizabeth McDonald—Gastritis

Edward blamed his wife’s poor constitution for the child’s death

Labourer’ s child—the child of Peter and Sarah Clarke—Premature Birth

Peter and Sarah lost twelve previous children

Bookseller’s child—the child of Joseph and Teresa Finegan—Diptheria

Teresa followed the child a week later and Joseph destroyed his bible

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Flash Fiction International

April sees the publication of W.W. Norton’s anthology of short fiction, Flash Fiction International. My story, “Skull of a Sheep,” which originally appeared in The New Orleans Review, Issue 37-2, is featured under the listing for Irish writers. You can pre-order a copy of the Norton anthology, HERE.

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Aging–A Meditation (Recently published by Prime Number Magazine)

Recently at Prime Number Magazine::
 
 
Barometer 
 
Before I leave the house in the mornings my mother taps the antique barometer with her nicotine-stained index finger. The needle wavers and then settles halfway between “Change” and “Fair.” I dip my fingers in the wooden Holy Water font and make the sign of the cross. She kisses me on the forehead with her bristly lips and I stride down the path towards the still-wreathed in mist Dublin Mountains. I am nine and the walk to school is fifteen minutes door-to-door. The remnants of a hedgehog sit next to the storm drain by the telephone pole.
 
Cats 
 
Stray cats, whose chorus makes enough of a racket to raise the dead, populate the lanes behind our house. In the darkness I can see their silhouettes on the back wall, sultry creatures steeped in witchcraft and bad luck. The neighbor across the road throws stones at the cats, all the while puffing on his cigarette. Every so often he scores a hit and cries out, “Chalk one up for the good guys!”
 
Eye-drops 
 
Nightly, my mother puts three drops in each eye to keep the dryness at bay. Her kitchen cupboard houses eight kinds of medication, instructions printed in small type on the narrow white labels. I’m not sure how she keeps all of the doses and times straight, but when I ask her if she’s making sure to take her pills, she says, “Of course, do you think I’m daft?”
 
On the phone the other day, she asked me five times whether I was happy to be back teaching in the classroom. I hadn’t the heart to tell her it had been almost a year since I returned to the high school. “Your brother is leaving for America tomorrow,” she told me five times, also.
 
When my father was sick, she took charge of making sure he took his medication and when the hospital said they’d have a nurse stop in to change the bandages on his leg, she told them not to bother, that she’d take care of him just fine. He’s been dead fourteen years now and the shoe is on the other foot; only he’s not there to tie the laces.
 
Dripping Shower
 
When I visit her over spring break, I check her bathroom to make sure she’s using the shower. Daddy Long-Legs webs are the prominent feature in the shower stall, the walls and floor dry as the Californian landscape I’ve recently escaped. Indignant when challenged, she says, “I take a bath a few days a week.” Who am I to argue? Instead, I mosey into her bathroom when she falls asleep in front of the television set. The face cloth is damp and the towels dry. Best I can figure is she’s dabbing herself with the cloth and leaving it at that.
 
At night I lay sleepless, jetlagged, listening to the sounds of the house. Outside, nightjars sing and flit from branch-to-branch of the bare trees. Worry is my name, the second son of the woman asleep on the other side of the landing; her snoring, a symphony. I hum to its tune until I fall asleep sometime before dawn.
 
Lamp 
 
The bulb-holder is brass and not securely attached to the lamp. If you time it just wrong you can feel the hum of electricity running down to the wall socket. When I was a small boy I placed a wet hand on a light switch and was thrown across the room. I cried and blamed my brother for hitting me, but my mother said he’d been nowhere near me.
 
Potatoes & Chicken 
 
The spuds in her downstairs bathroom have sprouted limbs. Lumpy potato monsters crawl across the tiled floor, blind and lost. On top of the gas furnace next to the fridge, a Tupperware of raw chicken sits like one of my students’ unfortunate science experiments. The stench is mighty, and Jesus knows when the breasts were set out to thaw.
 
Magpies 
 
I sing the song as I walk down to the shops to buy the newspaper. “One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl…” If you see a singleton magpie it’s best to spit on the ground so you’re not dogged by bad luck. The magpies are sheened birds with glinting eyes. Their industry is remarkable and I spend a long time outside the newsagent’s shop watching them go about their business. “Dirty creatures,” my mother calls them. They remind me of undertakers, with their black & white plumage and officious way of bustling about.
 
River 
 
The Liffey rushes through the town and beneath the narrow bridge, the water slate-gray and foamy. A heron wades deliberately in the narrows, its slender legs more suited to a child’s construction set than their actual purpose. Out the window of a pub I watch the bird stalk some small creature for its prey. Time does the same thing to my mother; the patient waiting, the unrushed watching as she slowly forgets to take care of herself. Eventually, the heron pierces a mouse with its long, slender beak, the chase over. It feasts. So, too, my mother will succumb when in a moment of stumbling forgetfulness she might miss a step at the top of the stairs, or take too many pills, too many times. Watchful, I am unable to rescue the mouse from the final strike, and unless something is done soon, I’ll be unable to warn my own mother of the waiting predator.
 
Photographs 
 
In plastic bags of indeterminate vintage are snapshot envelopes containing thousands of photos going back to the early days of the last century. Dead relatives stare defiant into the lens of an old Kodak Brownie; like the one my mother used use when we were kids. Housed in a brown leather case, the lens extended on a black accordion-style contraption and she would say, “Watch the Birdie!” Some years back I wrote her and asked if she’d catalog the photos as best she could, but the task must have seemed overwhelming and on my last visit the negatives and snapshots were untouched.
 
Cigarette Burns
 
She’s smoked for over seventy years, religiously, a devout follower of nicotine. Her fingers are stained the yellowish-ochre color of the most committed disciple. Our house growing up stank of cigarette smoke, our clothes, too, and the car. Ashtrays dotted the landscape of our house, small graveyards of butts, a peculiarly dissonant form of potpourri. Somehow, she doesn’t smoke in bed. Small mercies. Burn the house down. We worry, nonetheless. Her chair, a broken-down armchair that’s been in the sitting room for twenty or more years, is spotted, like a leopard’s hide, with the burns of dropped cigarettes from when she’s nodded off in front of the television. The same chair is in the corner of her room in the nursing home. Has to go outside to smoke there, down two floors and out into the cold. At least she’s exercising.
 
Uncertainty 
 
A box of love letters and cards sent from old girlfriends, a small, silver Celtic knot ring, business cards, and journals. I left these things behind when I abandoned Ireland for the west coast of the United States. I thought I asked my youngest brother to mind them for me, but someplace between flight and his moving house, the box disappeared. My mother is like that box of belongings; her memories and verbal tics soon to fade from memory as the outer shells of her stacked-doll self fall away and reveal a lonely emptiness at the core. Sometimes, I wonder if a stranger in a dump stumbled across all those letters sent to me by now middle-aged women?
 
Re-arrival 
 
The great horned owls came back just the other night. Missing for months, these light-boned creatures flew into the thick branches of the MacArthur avocado trees and reignited their cross-orchard conversations. In the light of the super moon I saw one’s shadow cross the meshed window, a soul in movement, perhaps a message from another place. Late, the hooting quieted, there’s a sudden energy and a frantic thrashing in the dead leaves beneath the tree. Half awake, my fast-beating chest stills only when the talons pierce my skin. 

Skunkinroadsday’s Childe

Batteries on desk: 3

Hats in office: 4

Days to Santa Fe: 2

Eyeglasses on desk: 3

Hawk feathers on desk: 1

Books to read: 3

Parent phone calls made: 1

Chapters of novel on desk to edit: 1

Pints of McConnell’s ice-cream bought: 1

Deer seen this evening: 1

Skunks in middle of road coming home: 1

Non-stop lecture time tonight by instructor: 100

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Feast of the Epiphany::

The clouds above the Dublin Mountains are singed cotton balls and the rose bush branches tremble in the North Wind Mam hates so much. The lawn is a frozen square of muck, white frost crusted on the few blades of grass left standing.

We tramp up the Rathgar Road to the shops and pass the orange workman’s shelter beside the primary school I don’t attend because we’re not Protestants. Mam says something about the transients wasting the taxpayer’s money playing cards and supping tea all day long. One of the workmen is fixing some gadget outside the shelter, and she says “Good morning.”

At the traffic lights, a blind man taps his white stick against the curb, and I wonder if there are holes where his eyes should be. She tells me to stop staring. When we get into the gourmet shop, she asks the shopkeeper for some brown sugar, the kind with large granules. He smiles and rubs my head before pointing out the sugar, which is cramped in a corner behind a basket full of stinky cheeses.

“It’s to baste the ham,” she says.

He nods, and says, “Sure you’ll be pleased as punch with a ham covered in that demerara sugar.”

In the ordinary shop, Mam buys a tin of Robin’s Starch, the one with the little bird on the can. When I ask why she needs it, she says it’s so she can whiten the dirty underpants, because they’re getting a bit musty. Da’s underpants are huge things, like ship’s sails, white and wide. There’s a slit where his mickey goes, but mine don’t have that slit. Maybe when I’m a bit older.

After the shops we go to the Church of the Three Patrons to say a prayer for the black babies in Africa who are starving to death. It’s the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception and bright yellow and white bunting flaps from the church railings. When we get outside again she tightens the scarf around my throat and pulls the collar of my coat up around my ears. The East Wind cuts into us as we push against it toward home.

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This Year’s Voyage

The still form of the fallen bird, feathers ruffled in place as at the exact moment of death. The world is a private one, the container of secrets and shames, of reputations and damage done over years, of stark landscapes and icy skies. Paper treasures store memories like holdfasts on coastal rocks buffeted by storm waves and wild surf. The toast was to a new year of straight roads and gentle swells of pastureland as far as the eye can see. Home is a broken nose, the ridge offset and the shadow of damage contained in profile. No more to creep the streets, head bowed, shame a relentless badge of failed marriage and crushed spirits. The old clothes of the recently interred year are shed, the soil and insects already working the weave to return the material to compost. This time should be one where to act is the better path to tread, the dead-end of inactivity and passive reply a closed-off street. In the morning light the dead bird is still, yellow beak and feet cold and brittle. The nare contains blood, a speckle, perhaps a byproduct of a hawk’s attack from above. Mothers recede in the dawn, their white hair thinner and washed gold spun in the lamplight. Change is the washrag with which I shall wipe away those sins of past days, the bitterest almonds stinking of deathlove and the peel of a thousand oranges decaying in the barrel. Maybe it is time to let the dog wag its tail instead of the other way round. God and cheap brandy, fur-lined gloves and shorn fields, empty cabins and plump pillows are the watchwords for writer’s tears and dropped phone calls from home. Alive and at sea, the sails billow with fresh winds from the east and towards those distant drumlins the small craft breaks the waves, her proud prow and oiled oar-locks renewed for the voyage ahead.

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Manifesto 2015

  • Write in the pre-dawn quiet, before children awaken and the owl returns from the hunt.
  • Make your own ink with the crushed petals of wildflowers.
  • Sit cross-legged at the shore and collect the words as they break in the wash.
  • Gather flicker and hawk feathers and save them in glass jars.
  • Make breakfast from the still-warm eggs of speckled chickens.
  • Take notes in the margins of favorite books.
  • Crush coffee beans in the mortar & pestle.
  • Lie in the dark and listen to the rain falling on the roof.
  • Walk the avocado groves looking for lost ideas.
  • Sleep with a notebook and pen by the bed to capture fragments of dreams.
  • Write to your mother of the ordinary wonders of your everyday life.
  • Tell your children stories of your childhood.
  • Make sure the stories you write spring from the split-seam of your exposed heart.
  • Cherish the disappointments as you travel the path to success through the forest of failures.

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